Do you know the saying "The truth hurts."? Well, today the truth hit me and it definitely hurt. It hurt real real bad. I play used to play in our church basketball and soccer league. Today we were playing soccer and my team the team that I used to play for had two games. The little time that I was in the game, I played attempted to play defense. I am completely useless. It would have been better if no one was there. I was so bad that I took myself out of the game. I called for a substitution even though I wasn't even close to being tired. This was to be my second season in the soccer league but I won't be finishing the season out. I'm done as of today.

We played basketball for 4 seasons. Our team went undefeated and won the championship all 4 seasons. I knew it was no thanks to me. I couldn't score if my life depended on it. I averaged about 4pt/game last season and that was my best season of all 4 years.

The truth that I dreaded to face can't be avoided anymore. All the athletic ability that I once had is gone. I knew there was going to be a time when my age would catch up to me and I wouldn't be able to play any sport at a decent level but I had hoped that wasn't going to happen for at least a few more years. There was actually a point in time when I was good at basketball and soccer. I used to be able to drive the ball to the basket and make the most impossible of shots. I could take on any contact. I could take on any size player. It didn't matter if the guy that I was matched up against was bigger than me, if he was stronger than me, faster than me, taller than me, or could jump higher than me. I wasn't afraid of anyone or anything. The same with soccer. I was never a very good offensive player in soccer but at least I could match up against anyone defensively. I was beat on every single play today. I don't deserve to be on the team.

Once I subbed myself out of the game I went straight to the sideline took off my cleats and my jersey and packed up. I couldn't play anymore. I had no right to play anymore. Athletics have been a part of my life since I was 7 years old. I can't imagine life without it. I came home, parked my car in the garage and pulled out my bike. I road for about an hour to collect my thoughts. I wanted to see if I had any strength left and I went and tackled the biggest hill I could find. I refused to use a lower gear. I made it up the hill but just barely. This is probably the hardest thing I will ever have to face in my life but the truth is I am done. I have no more left to give.

I tried to think of some other things that I am good out and I couldn't come up with one thing. I believe that God gives everyone a talent but I think He might have forgot about me. I used to be pretty good at basketball. I used to be pretty decent at soccer. I used to be good in school. I can't think of anything else that I am really good at anymore. Maybe God will read my blog and suddenly bless me with some talent because right now, I am completely lost. I just too punch to the gut and I don't think I can get back up. I wonder if God has internet access?