My Neighbor is a dork
I've been trying not to write anything in my blog about my neighbor for a very long time but I've succumbed to the pressure. He is just such an annoying person. The guy has no life whatsoever. He is unemployed and sits in his house all day long. I almost think that he has some sort of motion sensor on my front door so that he knows when I come out so he can come out and bug me.
Ever since I got my dog, I have to take him out several times a day so he learns to go to the bathroom outside. He is always outside and always has something stupid to say. The last time I saw him, I was with my dog and he had his cat and he kept teasing my dog with the cat. I'm at the point where I no longer try to be polite and make small talk with him. I just walk by and say hello and go about my business. I don't need to hear him tell me the same old stories again and again.
The worst experience I had with him was when I went to the BMW M Power Tour. I had an appointment to demo an M3 and unfortunately, he was there too. He didn't have an appointment so he told the people running the event he would just ride with me. I didn't really have a choice. What was I to do? I couldn't say no and seem like a total jerk. Now I am stuck with this guy for the next hour and a half. He won't stop talking. He even has the audacity to flirt with the some of the girls running the event. While he was talking to one of the girls, I stood behind him and rolled my eyes in disgust and shook my head. I noticed the girl had a huge smile on her face and was trying to hold back her laughter. My neighbor wasn't saying anything funny. I think she knew the pain that I was experiencing. He made sure that everyone knew that I was his neighbor. Eventually the same girl that I could tell was laughing at my neighbor gave me the keys to the car and some quick instructions on the car and the route we were supposed to stick to. My neighbor says something stupid and the girl and I ook at each other. Nothing needs to be said.
I start up the car and take off. Needless to say, the car is incredible. It's got more power than I would ever need. I decide that since my neighbor invited himself to join me, I'm going to scare the crap out of him. I drive like a mad man down the twisty roads. If it weren't for the traffic, I would have made the man cry. At one point while driving down by Blackhawk, I hit 100 mph as I weaved perfectly through traffic. It's a 35 mph zone. We get back and I hand the keys back to the same girl. She says "How was it?" I reply back, "The car was great!" and when my neighbor was out of earshot, I whisper to her, "...but the company, not so great." She laughs.
You might be thinking to yourself, "Aren't you worried that your neighbor might read this?" The answer to that is no. He is not internet savvy at all. The chances of him finding my blog are slim to none. I doubt he even knows my full name and I don't think he even has a computer or internet connection otherwise he would have told me about it. He's told me about just about every other aspect of his life.
Ever since I got my dog, I have to take him out several times a day so he learns to go to the bathroom outside. He is always outside and always has something stupid to say. The last time I saw him, I was with my dog and he had his cat and he kept teasing my dog with the cat. I'm at the point where I no longer try to be polite and make small talk with him. I just walk by and say hello and go about my business. I don't need to hear him tell me the same old stories again and again.
The worst experience I had with him was when I went to the BMW M Power Tour. I had an appointment to demo an M3 and unfortunately, he was there too. He didn't have an appointment so he told the people running the event he would just ride with me. I didn't really have a choice. What was I to do? I couldn't say no and seem like a total jerk. Now I am stuck with this guy for the next hour and a half. He won't stop talking. He even has the audacity to flirt with the some of the girls running the event. While he was talking to one of the girls, I stood behind him and rolled my eyes in disgust and shook my head. I noticed the girl had a huge smile on her face and was trying to hold back her laughter. My neighbor wasn't saying anything funny. I think she knew the pain that I was experiencing. He made sure that everyone knew that I was his neighbor. Eventually the same girl that I could tell was laughing at my neighbor gave me the keys to the car and some quick instructions on the car and the route we were supposed to stick to. My neighbor says something stupid and the girl and I ook at each other. Nothing needs to be said.
I start up the car and take off. Needless to say, the car is incredible. It's got more power than I would ever need. I decide that since my neighbor invited himself to join me, I'm going to scare the crap out of him. I drive like a mad man down the twisty roads. If it weren't for the traffic, I would have made the man cry. At one point while driving down by Blackhawk, I hit 100 mph as I weaved perfectly through traffic. It's a 35 mph zone. We get back and I hand the keys back to the same girl. She says "How was it?" I reply back, "The car was great!" and when my neighbor was out of earshot, I whisper to her, "...but the company, not so great." She laughs.
You might be thinking to yourself, "Aren't you worried that your neighbor might read this?" The answer to that is no. He is not internet savvy at all. The chances of him finding my blog are slim to none. I doubt he even knows my full name and I don't think he even has a computer or internet connection otherwise he would have told me about it. He's told me about just about every other aspect of his life.
of course he knows your last name, he reads your mail.
That sucks though, you should work harder on annoying him.
Like every time he talks to you, talk to him in a REALLY LOUD voice. Twitch a little too.
Tell him you have swine flu.
Cough a lot.
Try to get him to join your cult
give him a copy of dianetics.
Tell him you cant talk right now you need to get back to your secret project before your wife finds out.
Then when he looks at you funny say something crazy like "the rain is coming, I gotta go".
Freaking toy with the guy like you've got nothing to lose. He just wants your attention, when you give it to him, he'll find someone else..hopefully...or youll have a new friend.
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